listening to grey or blue at four in the morning after hearing it for the first time in the middle of the day in a room full of people in a computer room in college. I remember I had headphones on and water filled eyes with a frog in my throat. "I notice shes your lover but shes nowhere near your heart" were the lyrics that felt so similar to the scenerio as well as how the girl singing said she is with another boy hes fast asleep and wide awake sounds how it is now.
Yet I am ever so grateful he never fought for me. The best gift he did was show me how he could not give me what I wanted.
what I wanted was something different but the same thing that I get lately all the time. He always wanted me to stay home and watch movies and be a girl to do things for him. I do nice shit all the time and noone asks me to I just want to. Weird I used to want to prove I could be a sweetheart. I was I just was not his sweetheart. I think I am actually falling in love. I want it to last yet nothing last forever I just want to embrace myself in the moment.
Now I will go back into bed and let this new boy hold me tight. I am glad I get to kiss him and I do not even need mistle toe to let that shit happen. Its as natural as the sun rising.
Yet I am ever so grateful he never fought for me. The best gift he did was show me how he could not give me what I wanted.
what I wanted was something different but the same thing that I get lately all the time. He always wanted me to stay home and watch movies and be a girl to do things for him. I do nice shit all the time and noone asks me to I just want to. Weird I used to want to prove I could be a sweetheart. I was I just was not his sweetheart. I think I am actually falling in love. I want it to last yet nothing last forever I just want to embrace myself in the moment.
Now I will go back into bed and let this new boy hold me tight. I am glad I get to kiss him and I do not even need mistle toe to let that shit happen. Its as natural as the sun rising.
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