don't let life pass you bye.

when one asks what can i do with my life. the answer should be ..."what can't you do with your life"?



i wonder what is next on my plate.





some coffee. some laughs. some familiar voice in the distance. i keep walking further away from the familiar into the dark unknown that feels oh so forbidennly good.
 
 
someone told me how i make them smile yet its a struggle to get me to open up and accept a compliment. can you blame me for being defensive and scared to let someone touch my soul so deeply that it takes my breath away?
 
 
 
 
covered in a white blanket of snow. although i am isolated inside these walls my mind is free to travel anywhere and everywhere.
 

penny lane is in my head

A guy and a girl walk down he isle. They promise eachother eternity and death do them part. But they neglect to think about the parts in between eternity and death. Living is a lot harder than dying. Waiting is the hardest part. It is sad to know that you may have witnessed a beautiful matrimony between two people who look and act perfect for eachother. But what if your in school and you stumble into a jerk you think might be the guy of your dreams. Or you are bathing on the beach and think prince charming just picked you up while your prince Eric is off fighting someone elses war or is working a 9-5 job, living a life entirelly bopposite of you. Some people say if you cheat its wrong. but what is wrong or right to your insticts. your impulses.




Its very frightening to know that you mean the world to someone else. And that miles away there is a secret you keep that noone will ever know. And the one moment you believed loved could truly be real, you simply are stuck with a realization that everything beautiful is always, always broken. And in some twisted, comforting way, thats how it should be.

remove the labels.

remove the tags on my clothes, hell take off the clothes

bare, naked, nude,natural

i am merely skin.

i am only living.

but that's better than anything else i have ever done.

I am stripping myself of what I thought was normal. I am stripping from the constraints of the regular.

I am diving into an endless sea. I have found an oyster filled with black pearls. They are rare, as the color of my dark eyes. They are beautiful and not acknowledged for their unique and rare quality. Stop overlooking the natural beauty. Diamonds are not forever. My words will remain forever, and the sea will forever flow as the words swimming inside me continue allong with the ocean's tide.

Oh reluctant liar, you never seem to dissapoint me.

Oh hopeless soul, have you noticed how deep I can look into your eyes.

Have you noticed that I can get lost inside them.

So you want to kiss me forever?
How do you know if there is such a thing.

Happiness is not a feeling, its a moment.

Nothing last forever. Nothing is set in stone.
There is no such thing as perfection and no such thing as permanate.

There is only now. and there is only me.

So goodbye to you, and goodbye to whatever you ever thought we were.

I was nothing more than a figmant of your mediocre imagination silly rabbit.

don't you know tricks are for kids, I'm full grown.

I like the word cusp

On the cusp of failure is when you're on the brink of sucess.

When we feel the most alone, someone reminds you how fortunate you are.

It's hard to remember  the good and all the kind words, it is even harder to forget all the bad.

Oh hopeless fool. there's no need to be sad.

Don't give in to hurt,
Expand your kind soul, let your heart take control.

Don't listen to those wounds. Soak in the pain and release it with a smile.
It will all be over in a little while :)

As I listen to an old Death Cab song and laugh at how foolish I was

A familiar song, and unfamiliar feeling arises as the notes come out of the radio..

The words are not depressing their elegantly enlightening.

Thoughts can never be felt the same way twice
The beat in my heart feels disturbingly nice.

She gives a ramble of a goodbye..
He barely got a chance to ask why.

She left her scarf..
She always leaves them with a piece of her.

She thanked him for his attempt of romancing her.
She couldn't accept sugar coated lies..
He wasn't, to her surprise
But she didn't stay too long to figure it out.

He heard stories of how she came and went as she please
Heard of how she came doesn't mind screwing someone who gets in her path of destruction

She doesn't intend on deceiving you with her genuine glare
She dressed with a hopless smile
Her brown eyes swallow your arrogant snare.
You have a feeling you wish she'd stay a while.

Heres another funny line.
 I'm sure you will keep it in mind
Hold on to your breath hold on each band every time.
Exhale for all the blunders..
And partake in every single fucking possibility.

Enjoy the win

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off, but it's better if you do.

When you put heart heart on the floor and it gets walked on for so long. You decide to get a new plastic heart so it bends and never breaks. And noone can get into it ever ever again. Someone said the Song Ruby Tuesday reminded  them of me. I find that histerical since my favorite day of the week is a Tuesday. I was born on a Tuesday at 8:07 am. And I used to get a CD every Tuesday from a boy who always said I was the girl he knew I could be but I always hid it.

 I think that is a load of bullshit. Maybe I am the girl He once envisioned. Hell I could be the girl anyone envisions, but what matters is not what you see but what you get. What matters is what happened, But what could happen.

It feels good to feel a tear roll down your face. It is a release, the salt water gently grazes my rosey cheek. My nose stuffs up. The water fills my eyes. The screen blurrs up. But I can breathe better. I know I am alive. I love feeling an emotion and knowing I put a strong force on everything I say and touch. Not everything beautiful is gold. But everything that is gold can be beautiful.

I see myself as a black pearl. they are very rare. Most people like diamonds because they are forever!Why would you want forever? Nothing worth having is there forever. So i will be a black pearl lost down on the bottom of the ocean waiting for someone to find me and open up my shell and find the rare beauty that deceives the ordinary eye.

So Goodbye Ruby Tuesday. Hello there you look cute. Would you like a kiss. I have one up for auction.

I don't want to lie. I can't tell the truth. So it's over.

December 6th

Kris

I had a lot to do today and the weather was so cold something just made today feel so gloomy. After my classes i stopped and had coffee with two friends. He said something that made me think. He said sometimes we go about our day and forget the little things. And one thing that just stood out was that you showed me the little things are whats important and how its important to live our lives and appreciate the moments in every step. And in every step I take I'll keep a part of you with me. So when I walked outside later on there were some snow flurries and it made me smile and think of you. True Blue Happy Birthday beautiful wish you were here.