capture this movie. capture this moment

She stumbled into a party, stumbled into the room.
Her scent alcoholic, and he was a lush for her

He desperate for an answer, she leaves nothing but questions.
He desperate for an answer, shes can only make a scene. 

She mumbles to herself, takes another swig of her closest friend.
He steals a glance of whats left of her beauty, she gave most of it away


He desperate for an answer, she leaves nothing but questions.
He desperate for an answer, shes can only make a scene.

She joins in with the pointless conversations and fake friends, shes lost inside herself
He's lost inside her.


She's thinking of a way to leave already, feeling unwanted.
He contemplating how to get her to stay.

He desperate for an answer, she leaves nothing but questions.
He desperate for an answer, shes can only make a scene.


She whispers softly. He laughs politely
He leans for a kiss, she runs the other way.


She stumbles upon him outside the door.
She didn't know who she wanted but knew what she was looking for.
He didn't know her angle he didn't seem to care. He found her very beautiful and could not help but stare.

He desperate for an answer, she leaves nothing but questions.
He desperate for an answer, shes can only make a scene.

They went to his place, and she started off with a toast
"Lets live loudly tonight.
lets feel alive."

He desperate for an answer, she leaves nothing but questions.
He desperate for an answer, shes can only make a scene.

The weather outside was frightful but their bodies kept each other warm
they shared the moment in the moonlight and by sunrise she was gone.

She wanted to be wanted in the worst way.
She gave herself to him with never letting herself be seen.
He fell into her eyes and wonders why she gives it all away.
She wishes she can scream out the ocean inside her
at least for a second, but she hesitates, not today.

oh hey there hopless foool

My sweet slumber has seduced my senses.
The silence is a stolen spring day.

my body is sedated, my thoughts are flowing rapidly
My mind becomes free, my heart is dancing in the garden

My solace has come to a halt, my heart jumps to the sky.
And in that moment I realized I could have died.

The steady beats of my heart's rhythm is turning blue
The sky fades out gray, I wake, open my eyes to you

For a moment I glance, for a second we linger..
then I gasp for breath because you stole mine all away.

gently shutting eyes, your dream tosses and turns all through out the night
My spring has sprung and my senses are delayed.
My body is on fire, melting away. I reach to catch your dream but Im stuck in the light.

buils me up just to let me down

where do you think i am? does anyone know where i am? does anyone care

i am very lost and i rather not be found.



I have a feeling I am finally getting the hint. this is not going to be easy. But I am a strong person. What does not kill us makes us stronger.

so heres to killing off what was left cause theres nothing more for me to give. i I have other places to be and other sights to see. I do not have a set place and this is not my home. Home is where your heart is or where your heart desires. My desires will never be satisfied. So i continue on my search..

I tried to settle and relax and chill but thats not who I am I am crazy and enjoy the unknown. I fear comfort. Stop trying to contain me. Im not a bird that needs to be caged. Im a puma, I run fast into the night and climb trees in the jungle. I am a chameleon and ever changing reptile that can adapt to any environment.

if only i was one of the stray cats on the street I try to capture. They seem so content running around the city not knowing where they will sleep next.

Why is being werid and crazy a bad thing?




i am sorry that your normal. no i pitty you

jersey bound and restless.

Ever feel like a  bird who got their wings cut off. Right now feels like I am stuck in the cement in my driveway and I can not go anywhere.

Why is it everytime you drive back into your home town, there may be new buildings and the season may change, but nothing really changes here. Everything stays the same. And I am the weird element that doesnt mix well like vinegar and oil. I do not feel the same not a single bit.

Breathe in the symphony. Bring me an encore. Give me the voice I need to stay strong at a time when I feel like that little girl who never left this horrible town. I can't go back to that. Now that I have seen what is out in this world.

lying awake. brown eyes wide open. lying next to my decisions. Green Eyes is all I can see.

Noone knows my secrets. I'll never tell a soul. But I do know that sometimes it gets out of control.

Then the morning comes I wake up refreshed, astounded that I could feel so alive. really attempting to start anew.





Then my stomach aches and it is as if my happiness is swallowed by a whole of words. a whale of a song. The context is unknown. But there is one indication. There is one moment when I felt I can finally be as free as the bird in the sky, there's a moment after where I lose my will to fly and become caged down into my own confinements.

I can lay with you tell you how much I care and we are having a great time. Maybe we really are but sweetie I do not care at all. Not one bit of compassion.


I can ignore you. Shout out I hate you and I moved on. I met someone else. I never cared.
-but even you know that I am only trying to fool myself

I may be strong and you may not seem me as fragile as I am, when I close these eyes and I'm lying with all these decisions and thoughts all I feel is gray and blue. Do you feel it too?

You've come so far, well done darling We knew that you had it in you You can do anything that you want, world is an oyster, dont dissapoint us

 Today's secret is the story of my life. Kiss me as long as you promise noone knows. You can call me beautiful. And as I look into your eyes, I realized your not as beautiful as you can be.

I wish people can be as bold and insane as me. They would be happier.













"This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath"- Regina Spektor

Come Together.

Oh hey self destructive!
Lets get into trouble.
Lets dertoy everything we love.
to make something new.
Lets take a beautiful moment
and turn it into a disaster.
Everything beautiful is BrOken.

"there's nothing worse in life than being ordinary"

i wanna be tan again.

i want the smell of fresh cut grass making me sneeze.

i want to pick dandelions and pretend they are flowers instead of weeds.

i would like to play hide and seek and never get found.

i would like to play with chalk and make a house and live in it.

i would like not to grow up.

how about i grow old not up. I'm not very tall anyways.

i feel a lot of writing in my veins.

I can do anything my heart tells me to do

I feel that i can try and write with melody
I feel that i can get your heart to sing

Ive kept this little surprise that's new to show
I thought I spit it out since you gotta go

I'm new like this haven't ever felt this fresh
but now I have a Kick in my step now I have a free to my throw.

I have this beat dancing in my viens.
I got a different shade of red inside than everybody else.

Inexplicable is what my case is. Its hard to crack
But I can give you a taste But there is something that you lack

Have you felt the night as if the sun were shining your way
Or hid from the day because the dreams were just as real.

Cant quite tell what the sun is planning on doing today.
But count me in but I cant shake this feel.

In all things wonderful and all things grate.
I want to breathe everything in its never too late.

She's got a ticket to ride

She bums a light, five more minute she waits.
The wind blows away her worries.
She waits patiently across the gates.

Eagerly she takes the step on the train. ready to go, never stopping to notice
just what the color the sky is tonight.
She collects her thoughts, as she wishes for the train to break with all her might.

The tracks never break.
The stars never seem to fall.
The world is so big, she just wanted to see it all.

A poem you should fancy.

Here's to another ellipses
to holding out in case we find something that's better.
Whats better than this bitter bliss?

What's worse than the truth that turns into lies?
Whats better than losing yourself to find yourself just in a different shade of blue.

Lose yourself in the season. Let yourself become a new.
Let the snow melt away. Let the dawn greet the sun.
Let your heart find its way..

..or let it bleed, or let it run.
Let it all come undone till the moon reassures us all that there's another chance to dance


another moment to rise to the occasion.

Oh, please moon don't let me fall down.
Sometimes its more lovely to shine in the night that to try and stand out in the sunlight

Hello Lovely..

let me throw you a some words..

let me tell you your terrible
but
your nothing but wonderful in my eyes



your eyes look confused, as do i,


you look boggled can i blame you? no

they think your ugly..let them exaggerate

I AM NOT THAT BEAUTIFUL BUT ONE DAY
I WILL LET THEM SEE HOW HIDEOUS I AM

Oh the seasons changed and so have we..

Autumn brings a lovely transition after the brutal, hot summer affairs.

The branches dancing over me, sprinkle down leaves of solace.

The Color of each individual touched every part of my insides. Inside I'm falling too.
I let the wind take me where its safe to fall.
..
I am every color mixed with all the emotions entangled with the wind..
...yet no one can hold on to the wind forever..

On the contrary however, I was not the emotion that motivated the winds elegant movements.
Instead I saw myself as the egg corn..slipping off the tree's bark, like hands.

The small object was hidden under the earth, alone in the dusk.
Now I know the wind always sweeps me off my feet..
But that small,tiny ball was a tree yet to be grown.

As the season fade and more leaves with change the snow hides myself, during the angry winter, the brisk cool calming winter.
...
Suddenly the earth was warmed. The flowers were blooming, and the pollen scent attracted the birds and the bees. The birth of this unveiled beauty let it be known that spring fever was in the air.. Winter's bitterness has come to a sudden halt.

And as I hold on to the moment of the tranquil bliss, I smile and see my prosperous egg corn, my baby tree growing, thriving, living, breathing.

The harsh weathers will wear the gentle tree but keep her strong.
The glowing sun rays comfort the tree.
The cycle continues as a clock goes around in four quarters, four seasons.

The wind will blow my heart into a coma. I find myself back, surrounded by autumn leaves.
The BRIGHT yellows, the Vibrant oranges and the withered away brown leaves.
Changes were breathtaking.
The leaves were a symbol to fall and to rejoice again.

My dearest egg corn, reluctantly is awaiting the trials and battles throughout the change of seasons. The tree will be patient and endure the beauty in all its pain.

She will eventually breathe and her branches will sway to the rhythm of the wind.

But first I'll let nature takes its course.
Breathe in the changes and dance through the season alongside the wind; A color of orange. The symbol of New beginnings

Hey..

i know nothing about breathing deeply.

I know everything about losing my breath

I am scared my heart wont beat.

I'm scared there is nothing left in this heat.

Who am I my love. Who are you.

I'm just a stranger who needs a drag,

but I'm just a drag who cant hold on.

A short story I started..

Its a cold crisp October afternoon you can hear the leaves crinkling together. Greeting the morning breeze with a certain tenderness he puts a smile on his attire.
He walks passed a brush of the last trace of last years seasons.

With taking another step he trips into a pool of water leaving his fresh new kicks to shame.
He furiously storms away from this catastrophe only to run into a stranger and his hours of grueling and grunting of organized papers fly into the air like confetti, "what a wonderful and horrific day this has fallen into" he thought to himself.

Organizing his precious papers that are now just going to be another addition to the trash, he recollects his thoughts and tries to remember that things always come in threes. Now his spirits are low and his hopes of finding a silver lining to this perfect fall afternoon.

He gently glazes a strangers hand struggling to help him with his morning blunder. He is too flustered to even look up and offer gratitude of kindness for the tiny effort of the stranger or a general thank you. In attempt to keep any suave charasmatic body he might still having a drasting fall into the new season, he smiles and walks away in a hurry without looking if he left anything of importance behind. That was the third the wrong he did but he was in a hurry and walked in direction of the wind.

The stranger was drinking a coffee rushing off to nowhere but was certain it was somewhere a few minuscule moments before the klutz and the rest of the world woke up for the new day and new doors being opened to that crisp yet perfect what the news report would call it. So as she slurped down the caffeine that feeds her hunger she always craves. She jumped out of her place of rest and left a few dollars on the counter. She bid farewell to a a local whom could have sworn recognized. Smiling in agreement that the local can hardly recognize himself the waiter poured her a double cup to go and out the busy streets she went.

Before embarking on any journey, she ran into the man with the nice dress pants. They were nice pants before her coffee was added on to his outfit. She laughed to herself, its so typical just usually she is the one who looks like a mess. Before she could apologized the stranger was gone.

Although the rays of sunshine seep through, winters angry chill gets the best of us. But dont ever forget, despite the shivers and dressing up like eskimos, there is always one constant to remind us to keep our hearts warm.

if you understand life, you must be informed

beauty is found in everyone. Sometimes you have to dig deeper than others but eventually you can find some truth even in a lie. Life has passed me a threw lemons and I made a lemon ma rang pie with it. Its funny the more someone hurts me or leaves me high and dry when the going gets tough really makes me a stronger person. In the most defining moments you may think you are alone. But strangely enough there is someone there who very well could have saved your life.

I was invited to someones house last night with my friend to hang with a few people and had a random run in with two people who I crossed paths with previously. I didn't know them the way they knew me.. One of the guys I kissed and then a minute later jumped out of his car. He was very happy to see me and did not have one but of hate or judgment towards me which all I wanted to do was find a big blanket and cover it all over my body. Then next guy I have seen one or two time but I didn't know we were formally introduced. The moment he walked up the stairs he entered the room with his big blue eyes dressed in t shirt, jeans, and a smile. He then went up to me and asked if I remembered him. He then proceeded into a story that I did not recollect. I story of how I almost fell down the stairs being a drunken foolish girl. He saved my life from the concrete and I never even got to say thank you. It made me think how can these two people not even know me care about me. Why do we care about people and why do we hurt people. There is a motive and goal behind every interaction. My goal is to interact with as many people as possible. I want to give you a piece of me. My mission is to put an imprint in your life in hopes you do the same to me.